Today, on Oprah!
by Skylark Songbird
Summary: The Inuyasha cast on daytime talkshows!
1. Default Chapter

Welcome to my insanity! Kukukukuku!! Enjoy!  
  
Warnings: Uh.harsh language, evil daytime talk shows, and lots of Naraku. And Jaken.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, would I be doing this?  
  
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SPEAKER GUY: *Today on Oprah, repressed demonic entities crying out for love, our first guest, NARAKU!*  
  
Oprah (Larkie in disguise): So how did this all begin?  
  
Naraku: I think it started when I was a child...  
  
Audience member: BOO!!!! Go back to hell you evil youkai!  
  
Naraku: *sob* All I really want is love!  
  
Larkie: ok....let's bring on our surprise guest! Everybody clap your hands for.....INUYASHA!!!!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: AAAHHhh! Naraku, what are you doing here?! Have you come to kill me?  
  
Naraku (to Larkie): You see? They reject me and reject me!  
  
Inuyasha: You got Kikyou killed, and you almost got me killed! Then you repeatedly try to threaten, miasma, shred, or drive insane me and my Inu- gumi over and over again! What the hell am I supposed to think?  
  
Larkie: It seems to me that you keep pushing people away Naraku. You wont be true to your inner feelings.  
  
Naraku: I know, but it's so hard, being a ridiculously evil half youkai with multiple personalities!  
  
Larkie: Look deep down inside Naraku. Ask yourself: what does Naraku want?  
  
Naraku: I want my mommy!!!  
  
Inuyasha: ...you dont have a mommy, baka.  
  
Naraku: oh...thats right... *snaps into evil mode*  
  
Naraku: In that case, I want to kill you!! YA!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: Alright, this I can deal with! Come on Baboon boy!  
  
Larkie: When we return, Demons and their half-demon brothers, rejected since birth-  
  
Inuyasha: NANI?!!  
  
Naraku: KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKU!!!!  
  
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TSUZUKU! 


	2. Chapter Two

Warnings: Lame jokes, and puns on daytime talkshows. Disclaimer: Wise man once say, money talks but all mine says is 'bye bye'.  
  
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Larkie: When we last left, Naraku - a repressed egotistical demon with multiple personalities crying out for love!  
  
Naraku: This is for Musou Inuyasha!!!!!  
  
Larkie: And Inuyasha - An overly proud half-demon who keeps a gruff and unfriendly exterior to shield himself from the trauma suffered during his childhood!  
  
Inuyasha: You're the one who killed Musou bakayarou!!  
  
Larkie: The two of them duke it out in an all out battle of the ages, letting out centuries of bottled up aggression!!  
  
Inu-yasha: *muttering* Naraku never seemed to be bottling it up to me....  
  
Naraku: if not for Musou...then....Kikyou!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: Baka! You killed her too!!!!  
  
Naraku: eeto...ano...then for Kagura!!!  
  
*from audience* Kagura: Hey! I'm not dead!  
  
Larkie: I think this would be a good time to bring out our second guest! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the eldest son himself, Sesshoumaru!  
  
Inuyasha: NANI?!???!!?!!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: As always my disgraceful flea ridden brother, you are the last to realize my presence. It must be your pitiful dumbed down hanyou senses. *scoff scoff*  
  
Inuyasha: Bastard! Mind your own-  
  
*Naraku takes this moment to try and melt Inuyasha with miasma.  
  
Inuyasha: *eyes widen* Kuso! *blocks with Kaze no Kizu*  
  
Sesshoumaru: And horribly inattentive too!  
  
Inuyasha: Shut...the hell...up!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: You aren't even man enough to take that human bitch. Unlike I, Sesshou-maru who-  
  
Larkie: That's right folks, Sesshoumaru has secretly been seeing...Kagura! Naraku's daughter... uh... offspring... creation...ano...you get the idea!  
  
Naraku: WHAT THE HELL?!  
  
Kagura: It's true! He's twice the man you'll ever be!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: *glares at Larkie* I wasn't done speaking yet.  
  
Larkie: eep! Gomen nasai.....  
  
Inuyasha: You...and Kagura...when did you have time to get together with her when you are always bugging the hell outta me!!?!?!  
  
Sess: Since we both interfere so much, we kept running into each other after disposing of your little messes. *smirk*  
  
Naraku: So I suppose you are requesting that I give Kagura's heart to her...  
  
Kagura: We aren't afraid to fight you for it!!! *shakes fist at Naraku*  
  
Larkie: The question here is...since Kagura is technically part of Naraku, could Naraku be considered Sesshoumaru's girfriend as well?  
  
Sesshoumaru: *eyes widen* What?!  
  
Kagura: Eew!  
  
Inuyasha: *shudder*  
  
Naraku: *twitch twitch*  
  
(from backstage) Jaken: HELP ME SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!!!!! HELP!!!!  
  
Kagome: I'm gonna squish you this time you annoying little toad!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome! What are you doing here?!  
  
Sesshou-maru: Jaken, you were supposed to be watching Rin.  
  
Naraku: What the hell is all of this!?! Lets end this! I'll just miasma the whole set!!  
  
Larkie: No Naraku! We have to work through your issues! We'll be back after a short break! *scared smile*  
  
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TSUZUKU! 


	3. Chapter Three

I feel lazy. No disclaimer today.  
  
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*Everyone is now seated in a semi circle, Naraku on one end, then Kagura, then Sesshoumaru, then Inuyasha, then Kagome. Jaken is being used as a foot rest by Sesshoumaru.*  
  
Larkie: Welcome back folks! When we last left, we discovered a shocking secret! Kagura and Sesshoumaru have been having a secret love affair!  
  
Kagome: Who cares about that?! I came to settle something with Inuyasha! And I refuse to just sit-  
  
*Inuyasha slams into the floor.*  
  
Kagome: Oh, I didn't mean to-  
  
Inuyasha: Bitch, how dare you do this to me?!  
  
Kagome: HEY! I'm the one mad at you, remember?!  
  
Inuyasha: Why?! What the hell is it this time?!!  
  
Kagome: You mean you DON'T KNOW?!! *glows with evil aura*  
  
It's my BIRTHDAY YOU IDIOT!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: *blinkblink*  
  
Kagome: And you just RUN OFF to do this STUPID tv show-  
  
Larkie: Hey!  
  
Inuyasha: *jumps up* Hey! I was just trying to defeat Naraku!  
  
Naraku: (to Larkie) See? They again with the defeating me! *sob*  
  
Kagura: oh puh-lease!  
  
Kagome: *looms over him* Don't give me that sorry old excuse Inuyasha!  
  
Inuyasha: Whaddya mean-  
  
Kagome: SIT!!!!  
  
*Inuyasha slams into the floor* Inuyasha: Arrrrghhh!!!!  
  
*Kagome storms off set*  
  
Sesshoumaru: Brother, it seems your human wench has you wrapped around her little finger. *smirk*  
  
Inuyasha: Why you little-!  
  
Kagura: *stands up* HEY! Sessoumaru, you never celebrated MY birthday either!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: Nani?!  
  
Inuyasha: BWAHAHAHA!  
  
Naraku: *sulk* Nobody remembered MY birthday!  
  
*from backstage* Sesshoumaru-sama! Where are you?  
  
Sesshoumaru: Rin?!  
  
Kagura: Who's Rin? Have you been cheating on me?!  
  
Sesshoumaru: Eh? How can you accuse I, Sesshoumaru, of infidelity?!  
  
*Rin runs on stage*  
  
Rin: Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin missed you! You left Rin with stupid Jaken! Then HE left Rin all alone!  
  
Jaken: erk!  
  
Kagura: Sess-chan, you never told me you had a human child!  
  
Sesshoumaru: ano..  
  
Inuyasha: Looks like you've gotten yourself into a fix brother!  
  
*from offstage* Kagome: Who are you to talk?! SIT!  
  
*Inuyasha slams into the ground*  
  
Inuyasha: AARRGGHHH!!!!  
  
Sess: Rin is just a tagalong! She's nothing!  
  
Rin: Rin is tired now. Jaken, take Rin home now!  
  
Jaken: No human whelp will order ME arou-  
  
Sess: *dismissively* Do as she says Jaken.  
  
Jaken: EH?! *sigh* Very well.  
  
*Rin skips off stage with Jaken trailing behind*  
  
Naraku: I thought this interview was about ME! *sulk*  
  
Maybe I SHOULD just miasma the whole place!  
  
Larkie: NO! ano...of course this is about you! *laughs nervously* you see...-  
  
Sesshoumaru: *stands up and nonchalantly walks over to Naraku*  
  
I, Sesshoumaru, now challenge you to a duel.  
  
Naraku: Kukukukukuku! Excellent!  
  
Kagura: *rolls eyes* Cream him Sess-chan!  
  
Inuyasha: *snickers* Sess-chan! bwahahaha!  
  
*offstage* SIT!  
  
*Inuyasha slams to the ground*  
  
Inuyasha: Why me?  
  
Larkie: When we come back, Naraku and Sesshoumaru will duel in a fight for Kagura's heart! Lets take a quick break!  
  
*runs to go put on miasma and dokkasou proof armor* 


End file.
